i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
