For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I wish you could order shots online.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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