Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
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