Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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