i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
