What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
