I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I am one with the molecules
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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