We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
