Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
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