why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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