i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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