just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
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