Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
