the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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