nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
well I can't set my house on fire every night
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Randomize
