butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
