Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
