In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Randomize
