I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
We were destined to go to rehab together
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
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