just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
