I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
