I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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