foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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