Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Randomize
