Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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