my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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