Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
