Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
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I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
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Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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