But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize