Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
