Little spoons don't ask big questions
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
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So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
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I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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