I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
