What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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