Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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