i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups