I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize