My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
