okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
