dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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