come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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