Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
