I want to make a zoo with you.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I don't deserve a penis
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize
