tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
