remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
