how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I think your dad took our porno
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
