I could make wine with my vomit
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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