is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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