It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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