idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
