If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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