"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
it hurts more in the daytime
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
