Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
