Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize