I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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