Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
