weddingsv make me drug and hornr
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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