I could have mohawked her pubes.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Randomize
