Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
