I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
It's blow job season.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
